When Does Fun Turn to Desperation?

Gamblers fall in love with the excitement and action of gambling. They do not have any vision of falling into any of the four Phases of gambling: Winning, Losing, Desperation, and Hopelessness. They see themselves as enjoying all that goes with the Winning Phase, as in the beginning most gamblers report that they are successful. This beginning, as innocent as it may have been, leads to the fantasies of further successes. They see themselves as very wealthy, and having great power and prestige. They believe that they have a way to beat the system. Their self-worth and esteem becomes the focal point of their being “smarter or luckier” than the other gamblers, who they see as average, in comparison to their skills.

And then…the compulsive gambler begins to suffer financial losses which eventually will lead to the decline in their ego, which becomes damaged as the gambling spins out of control. They attempt to maintain their self-esteem by rationalizing their losses and they may even delve into blaming others for their loses. During this losing phase the gambler becomes more preoccupied with their gambling. They will isolate and gamble alone, and borrow money, and be absent from work, and definitely begin lying to family and friends and default on loans and debts. This is where the gambler begins to “chase” their losses; gambling in order to get back money that they lost, with the mindset of “getting even.” Now we have the beginning of the vicious cycle that bearings many gamblers to their knees.

Now the gambler attempts to determine their abilities to assure that losses will be minimized. When the gambler thinks they have run out of money, they will deplete their savings or borrow more money. The more money that is borrowed or spent is again reflected in the belief that the only way to gain back these losses or pay or any debts is to gamble even more. At this point, a gambler, who has a job, may embezzle from their employer. Others make fraudulent loan applications or insurance claims. Many may resort to theft for the money. Initially the gambler rationalizes these crimes. The gambler truly believes they will repay the money…that it is just a loan…that they are not a criminal. The cycle of tapping all resources, taking belongings to the pawn shop (the gamblers and items belonging to family members and/or friends) taking out loans, stealing, lying are all part of the desperate gamblers lifestyle.

During the desperation phase the gambler loses all control over their gambling. Many articles have documented proof of this behavior and mindset. So, I think that desperate people will do desperate things, and with gambling that would mean taking more risks and chances, because there is so much more at stake in their lives. I am told that people will NOT gamble more, now that the financial crisis is what it is for everyone. If our gamblers experienced the desperate phase before the economy took a shift…why would they not be behaving in a desperate manner now that more people are having desperate experiences financially? I wonder if people who are experiencing financial insecurity right now, won’t remember an occasion in their past, where a wager of some type was made, in some gambling industry or environment, and believe they may be able to recapture that particular experience? What is to stop anyone, who has ever received a gain from a gamble…from dreaming that they could repeat that and their troubles would be over? This is where I believe individuals, who have not had problematic gambling experiences, may be tempted to regain the moment of financial windfall, and fall victim to “chasing” that dream and spending more money than they had expected to spend. In desperation, there may not be a limit to how far they will go, or how long they would remain engaged in the gambling behavior, or what the outcome will be.

I am watching and listening to the ads, the programs, the commercials, the billboards, the language of people on television, and radio and all around me, and the dialogue refers to taking a chance. I hear the message daily and I see the outcome daily and have individuals tell me that when their “belief systems” shifts…that they deserve the win…they venture into dangerous territory and can document exactly when their innocent gambling turned into danger and ruin.